Pomegranatey

I just ended the phone call with you. It was a fairly pleasent phone call. Not much negative vibe in the conversation. You were in a good mood. But I paused a lot. Sometimes when you were talking I wasn’t listening only thinking so then I would just reply with oh that’s cool yeah. But I thought about so many things when I paused. I was thinking is this the guy that I made such negative posts about earlier? Is this the guy with the horrible tumblr I hate so much?  Is this the guy who only cares about physicality? It was still you but it just seemed different to me. I also thought wow. This guy has so many great qualities about him. This guy is so smart and handsome and funny. Your such a good person wanting to make everybody else happy. Your so nice and now you are finally thinking about yourself so I guess I’m proud? Now you realize that you don’t need me. I’m only weighing you down. I’m not worth it. You don’t need to be waiting on my feelings to change. You need a girl that could make you happy and satisfy you. I’m just another one of those girls you liked who it never ended up working it out with. I admit that I’m the bad guy. This is the phone call that let me know for sure that you have given up on me. I’m still not giving up on you though.   But oh well. I want you to go find another girl. It’s going to hurt me but it will help me get over you and learn to stop being so horrible. And I’ll act like it’s all okay and that I’m fine just so i won’t stop you.