November 2011
2 posts
So the guy I like and used to talk on the phone with every night called me thursday night. I want to get the same thing we used to do going but he told me he likes sleep and doesn’t want a call every night and doesn’t like me as much anymore which is why we stopped. So I panned on calling him saturday night but then he called me last night surprisingly :) When he said he was going to...
11/3/11
This is so weird. I was just looking back at all of my old posts about us and how confused I was and how much you liked me. I can’t believe that it’s only been a year. We’ve grown so much. We are completely different people but we still remained close all along the way up until recently. Recently, maybe about two weeks ago on sunday we had a phone call about how us is...
July 2011
9 posts
May 2011
6 posts
I haven't been on this blog in a really long time....
I went back and glanced at a few of my old posts. I am sitting here, online at 1:40 am. All of the past nonsense I used to blog about is over. We aren’t together anymore. Hell, I don’t even know if we’re friends anymore. I haven’t even talked to you in person for about three weeks, but I think about you everyday. I miss you. You’re too cool of a person to not be in my...
December 2010
7 posts
You make me feel like a frikin 5 year old compared...
Well aren't you being an ass
You’re being the biggest asshole right now. Seriously all you care about is “living” and being cool. Hooking up with multiple girls in a night is not cool. Being drunk for the third time in a week is not cool. You’re such a fucking idiot thats not cool its just stupid. Sure its “fun” but you don’t really realize what you’re doing. I get that you...
FUCK IT I'M NOT GOING TO STOP
Im not pretty enough. I’m not cute enough. I’m not skinny enough. I’m not stylish enough. I’m not funny enough. I’m not loving enough. I’m not crazy enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not strong enough. I’m not hot enough. I’m too stupid. I’m too weird. I’m too normal. I’m too much of a good girl. I want you so bad. I...
Just fucking stop.
I’m crying right now. And it doesn’t even have anything to do with whats going on between you and me. Its me and my friend. Why don’t you guys go make it more obvious that you like each other? I mean seriously I know she is prettier and cuter and just better than me. I know how interested in her you are. I know that she is also interested in you. Stop telling me I’m worth...
Maybe if you did say that you wanted me and that you were sorry right then and there you would be enjoying yourself. i would be your girlfriend right now and i would be telling you things i wouldnt tell anyone else. i would be curled up in your arms knowing that i was actually worth something. we were supposed to be best friends. you were suppose to tell me things you never told anyone else and...
Fucking Bitch.
Okay I like you. you’re a good person but I’m just going to rant about you now. you are such a stupid ass. i dont know what the hell goes on in your head. i dont know what makes you think i would ever take you back. if you cared about me, you would have waiting for me. when i told you im ready when im ready, you were supposed to immediately respond and say im ready when you’re...
November 2010
18 posts
I just ended the phone call with you. It was a fairly pleasent phone call. Not much negative vibe in the conversation. You were in a good mood. But I paused a lot. Sometimes when you were talking I wasn’t listening only thinking so then I would just reply with oh that’s cool yeah. But I thought about so many things when I paused. I was thinking is this the guy that I made such negative...
I'm left with nothing.
You’re still a cool person. Just not boyfriend material at all. Just get over me so that I have no choice but to get over you.
You’re so disgusting. All you want is intamacy. I don’t want to read about how much you want to make out with me or touch my body. I don’t want to read about you pleasuring youself or sleeping naked. All you do is follow porn blogs. All you think about is body on body. I’m not a physical person so shut the fuck up.
You make me feel like the bad guy so fucking much. You make me feel like I’m the entire reason your life sucks and it makes me feel like shit knowing that I do. You always complain about it on your tumblr which I wish you never got. Why did I even mention tumblr to you just that little bit? I hate your tumblr. Your such an idiot letting the whole word see how you feel about me. You keep...
JUST SHUT UP
I'm a selfish, horrible, terrible, stupid,...
i have far too many little stories about u. ill...
i remember
in third grade the desks were in pairs at the begining of the year. i sat in the pair in the second row closest to the window. i forget who i sat next to but i remember u were right behind me. u sat next to destiney the new girl and when i was turned around talking to the two of u one day desitney said that u liked me and then she pointed out my name written in pencil on ur desk but u were smiling...
SO forget you right now. I'm going to focus on u.
i remember when i first met u. its was second grade and i was at a new school. the teacher led me to where everyone else was in the morning before school and she put me in line right behind tyler and she told me if i needed anything i could just ask tyler and that they would lead our line from outside into the school in ten mintues. she introduced me directly to tyler but others could hear...
I feel as if I were just stabbed in the stomach...
I have no idea what I should be thinking.
Too late. I'm left with nothing. I'm such a...
I don't want to be left with nothing.
I still want u.
I can’t believe it. I know I used to love u. I know it. I loved that feeling so much. I had butterflies in my tummy, I felt fuzzy and stupid and cheesey inside, my mind was never thinking straight when I was around u, I would get my words mixed up when I talked to u and worried that I had just said the stupidest thing ever and want to hit myself in the head. I didn’t wipe that stupid...
I haven't been online for a while.
But now I am because I really need to post something. I feel so confused still but before I could actually stand it but this is going on for too long. I know that if I even liked you, I would get happy evetime I saw you. I would call you when you wanted me to. I would freak out everytime you texted me back. I would get scared everytime I sent a brave text message. I would love hanging out with you...
This is so fucking stupid. I’m so fucking confused. Why is it that yesterday I wanted to be your girlfriend and today I’m so annoyed with you? Why can’t I just figure out my feelins already. Why is it than when I think about you sometimes I just want to hug and kiss you but when you are around I get kind of annoyed by you. I don’t get it and I don’t get you. How come...
October 2010
8 posts
Oh my gosh I want to cry so much right now. I feel pressure building behind my eyes. I don’t even have a good reason for it. My head just hurts so much right now. I feel like I have been replaced. Kicked out. I am so annoying. I am so stupid. Why can’t I be a cool person? Why can’t they accept me as much as they do for others? Am I really that annoying? I am not cute. I am not...
I want to hug you soo much right now god dammit.
oh my gosh someone liked that post. somone read it. it makes me feel amazing. thank you.
Truth is...
I have so much to say I don’t even think I can remember all of it right now. So I really really like you. I’m not in love with you but I like you more and more everyday. Even though you used to be really really quiet and awkward I liked you the first day of summer training practice. I totally facebook stalked you. I told my best friend about the really good looking guy on my cross...
I'm so fucking confused
I’m so fucking gosh darn confused. I don’t even know if I want to go into detail about this. You know what? I’m not. I can’t even type it in words yet. Maybe later.